Marriage is meant to be a sacred bond, built on love, trust, and commitment. But the enemy knows that when a marriage is broken, it affects not just the couple, but their children, families, and future generations. His goal is to divide, deceive, and destroy. He works through distractions, temptations, and emotional wounds to weaken the foundation of marriage. Here are 15 ways the enemy attacks marriages — and how to fight back.
1. Promoting Selfishness
The enemy thrives when partners focus more on their own needs than their spouse’s. Selfishness creates emotional distance, making it difficult to foster love and connection. Research from Dr. John Gottman, a leading marriage expert, reveals that successful marriages are based on mutual generosity and sacrifice. When selfishness takes over, it leads to resentment and a lack of emotional intimacy.
💡 Fight Back: Practice daily acts of selflessness. Love is about giving, not just receiving. Ask, “How can I serve my spouse today?”
2. Destroying Communication
The enemy fuels misunderstandings, assumptions, and emotional withdrawal. Lack of communication leads to growing resentment, which is one of the top predictors of divorce according to marriage studies. Dr. Sue Johnson, creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy, states that when couples stop expressing their feelings, they lose the ability to connect deeply.
💡 Fight Back: Make communication a priority. Listen without interrupting, validate your spouse’s emotions, and speak with kindness—even when discussing difficult topics.
3. Planting Seeds of Resentment
Unresolved hurt leads to bitterness, and bitterness turns into division. The enemy wants you to hold onto offenses, replaying past mistakes until they define your relationship. Harvard research shows that couples who let go of grudges experience greater satisfaction and intimacy.
💡 Fight Back: Choose forgiveness daily. Don’t let small wounds fester into lasting pain. Address issues openly and work towards healing.
4. Encouraging Emotional and Physical Affairs
Affairs don’t start in the bedroom—they start in the mind. The enemy convinces spouses that someone else understands them better, leading to emotional bonds that threaten the marriage. Studies by Dr. Shirley Glass show that emotional infidelity can be just as damaging as physical betrayal.
💡 Fight Back: Set boundaries. Avoid situations where emotional closeness with someone else could replace the connection with your spouse.
5. Using Financial Stress to Create Division
Money issues are one of the leading causes of conflict in marriages. The enemy fuels stress by making financial struggles seem like a personal attack rather than a shared challenge. Studies reveal that couples who fight about money early in their marriage are more likely to struggle long-term.
💡 Fight Back: Approach finances as a team. Be transparent, create a budget together, and make joint financial decisions.
6. Normalising Busyness Over Quality Time
The enemy convinces couples that work, social obligations, and children should come before their marriage. Over time, partners become like roommates instead of soulmates. Studies show that couples who schedule regular date nights have stronger emotional connections and lower divorce rates.
💡 Fight Back: Prioritise your relationship. Schedule uninterrupted time together, even if it’s just a short daily check-in.
7. Fueling Unrealistic Expectations
Social media and Hollywood portray marriage as effortless romance, causing disappointment when real-life struggles arise. The enemy wants spouses to believe their marriage is failing simply because it doesn’t match these unrealistic standards.
💡 Fight Back: Accept imperfection. Focus on the unique strengths of your marriage rather than comparing it to others.
8. Keeping You Focused on Your Spouse’s Flaws
Criticism and negativity weaken a marriage over time. The enemy magnifies every mistake your spouse makes, fueling discontent. Dr. John Gottman’s research states that for every negative interaction in a marriage, there should be at least five positive ones to maintain a healthy balance.
💡 Fight Back: Shift your focus to gratitude. Make a habit of complimenting your spouse and recognizing their efforts.
9. Encouraging Lies and Secrets
Dishonesty, even in small things, erodes trust. The enemy makes couples believe that withholding information is harmless, but secrecy creates emotional walls. Marriage therapist Esther Perel states that trust is built through consistent honesty and vulnerability.
💡 Fight Back: Be transparent. Trust is strengthened when both partners feel safe enough to share openly.
10. Promoting Addictions That Destroy Trust
Pornography, substance abuse, gambling, and social media addiction create emotional distance and erode intimacy. The enemy wants you distracted and dependent on temporary highs rather than your spouse. Research confirms that couples dealing with addiction experience higher levels of conflict, betrayal, and disconnection.
💡 Fight Back: Acknowledge destructive habits. Seek accountability, counseling, or spiritual guidance when necessary.
11. Weakening Physical Intimacy
Physical affection is more than just pleasure—it builds trust, connection, and emotional security. The enemy works to replace intimacy with busyness, resentment, or distractions, leading to emotional detachment.
💡 Fight Back: Prioritise closeness. Express love through touch, affection, and intentional connection.
12. Creating Division in Parenting
The enemy wants parents to disagree on discipline, education, and family priorities, causing stress and tension. Children thrive when they see their parents united, but division leads to confusion and instability.
💡 Fight Back: Be a team. Discuss parenting values together and support each other’s decisions in front of the children.
13. Attacking Spiritual Connection
When faith is absent, the enemy has more room to create doubt, fear, and confusion. Studies reveal that couples who pray together have stronger marriages, higher relationship satisfaction, and greater resilience.
💡 Fight Back: Make spiritual connection a shared priority. Pray together, study scripture, and seek God’s guidance in your marriage.
14. Encouraging Comparison to Other Marriages
The enemy makes you believe that someone else’s marriage is better, fueling jealousy and discontent. When spouses start believing they could “do better,” it weakens commitment.
💡 Fight Back: Focus on your marriage. Appreciate what makes your relationship unique rather than comparing it to others.
15. Making Divorce Seem Like the Only Option
The enemy whispers that divorce is the easiest solution, making couples feel hopeless about resolving conflicts. Studies show that most couples who push through difficult seasons experience stronger, happier marriages later on.
💡 Fight Back: Seek counseling, prayer, and support before giving up. Challenges can be overcome when both partners are willing to fight for their relationship.
Final Thoughts
The enemy’s ultimate goal is to divide and destroy, but a strong marriage is built by choice, commitment, and faith. Protect your relationship by staying intentional, communicating openly, and keeping God at the center.
💡 Your marriage is worth fighting for—choose love every day.
