by Bree Maresca-Kramer
A man who enjoys your company and has fun with you will avoid rocking the boat to keep you around for as long as possible. Even when he knows for sure he will never marry you, he will keep dating you until he finds the “right one.” This may seem cruel to you, however, men in general look at dating very differently than women. Men feel there is nothing wrong with continuing to date since both of you are “having a good time.” Many women are unaware of this dating element with men and end up staying too long in a relationship that is going nowhere.
It is very important for a woman to know how the man she is dating feels and whether he will eventually step up and propose. These 7 signs help you clarify if he thinks your relationship is for keeps or just fun for right now.
1. He only makes plans for the immediate or short term. He is always ready to make a date for tonight or this weekend but rarely makes plans for the distant future. For instance, you ask him to plan a romantic vacation for next year and he acts hesitantly telling you, “That sounds great, but let’s wait until it gets closer before booking the flight and hotel.”
2. He rarely sings your praises to his friends and family. This can be spotted when you are around those closest to him and they say something to the effect of, “Wow, Bob never told us how smart and talented you are!” A man who is serious about you and your future together raves about you.
3. In social settings, when the topic of marriage or children comes up, he quickly changes the subject. In addition, if he cannot change the subject, he will try to distract you or remove you from the conversation. He may mention the buffet and that he is hungry so he can avoid having to face any questions from the conversation.
4. He tells you he is too stressed at work to think about getting married now but maybe in a few months he can focus on it. He is doing this to buy more time with you before being cornered into dealing with the subject of marriage.
5. He avoids talking about a deeper commitment and tells you he is “happy the way things are — why ruin it?” When a man tells you this, it is a big red flag that he does not have the intention of taking your relationship to the next level.
6. He avoids serious talks about the future by diverting your attention. Often a man will do this by trying to make you laugh or engage you in a fun activity. Remember his goal is to keep you happy and around without having to further the commitment.
7. He will compliment you without adding himself in the mix. He will tell you how great you are and how much he admires you but will not say anything like, “I am so lucky to be with you … You are the woman for me!”
If you are nodding your head thinking to yourself, “My guy does that,” then it’s time to take a good, hard look at the reality of your relationship’s future.
Before making any final decisions, talk with your man about his long-term intentions. You could broach the subject by saying, “Bob, we have been dating for a year now, I want to check in with you and see where you see our relationship going in the future.” Be careful to really hear what he is saying and not what you want him to say, as this is a common trap many women fall into.
If he has the intention of moving forward with you, he will clearly state that to you. If he is unsure or not ready yet, he will say things like, “I need more time, I haven’t thought about the future, we are having such a great time I don’t want to rush it.”
At this point, you must decide whether you want to give it more time hoping he will eventually want to commit or move on so you can find the man who is right for you.
