At the core of every “good” relationship lies trust. Without it, there’s contempt, insecurity, and/or unsettledness. The hardest part about building trust in a relationship is knowing when to let your guard down and how to know that your partner is trustworthy.
1. WHAT ARE SOME OF THE MYTHS SURROUNDING TRUST
Oftentimes, we assume someone is trustworthy or not based on his or her reputation. If that were such a great predictor then we wouldn’t be surprised so often. Science tells us that everyone has his price — whether he know it or not. We each have two types of mechanisms: those that favor short-term gain and those that favor long-term gain. If you’re thinking short-term, you’ll take whatever you can get and run. However, long-term gain requires you to be more community-oriented to get what you want in the end. Whether you are trustworthy or not in any given moment is determined by which of these two urges is motivating you.
2. IS IT POSSIBLE TO BASE TRUST ON BODY LANGUAGE?
Yes, it is possible, but in the past we’ve been looking for a single telltale marker, like shifty eyes or a fake smile, neither of which is telling in its own. Recent studies suggest that only when four particular cues are used in sequence do they predict when a person is going to be untrustworthy. Those are crossing one’s arms, leaning back (or orienting yourself away form someone), touching your face, an fidgeting with your hands. When used together, they say, “I’m probably going to cheat you.”
