Most people are using social media now as a way to keep up with things that you might not have been able to care about otherwise. You have those relatives that you love, but don’t want to see more than twice a year. Facebook is an easy way to keep up with the big stuff: When they have a baby, if they move, or if someone decides to die.
But one of the things that can come out of this Facebook connection with people you may or may not like is what doctors are calling “Facebook Envy.” This is a new phenomenon, of course, only as old as the social media platform itself. But despite the fact that it’s new, a lot of people are familiar with this feeling.
Facebook envy is when you see your friends doing well and it makes you feel bad about your own life. You feel that you’re a step behind, a day late and a dollar short. You see them getting married, having kids and going on expensive vacations, and you wonder why you’re single, childless and haven’t had a day off work since President Obama was elected.
Belmont-based clinical psychologist Craig Malkin says that the Facebook Envy phenomenon is a real and very serious problem. Citing the studies for WBUR.com, Malkin says research shows that people are less happy with their own lives after reviewing the lives of others on Facebook. This comes from our natural human desire to compare ourselves to gain context in our own lives.
He also says that seeing the photos of your friends and viewing the number of “likes” they receive for birthdays and status updates are a huge issue as well.
“This is something that keeps showing up in the research,” Malkin said. “Some people out there wind up negatively comparing themselves to what’s portrayed on Facebook by their friends.”
One possible outcome of Facebook envy is that people will go out and spend money they don’t have trying to impress friends they don’t know very well, just to deal with the jealousy they are feeling. So, this problem not only makes you feel bad on the inside, it also makes you depressed when you view your empty bank account. This is making some people, especially 20-somethings, come to hate the social media platform.
“We’re really just in the infancy when it comes to this research, but there are some themes that are emerging,” he said. “And one of the clearest themes is when people go on to Facebook they’re often crafting a persona — they’re portraying themselves at their happiest. They’re often choosing events that feel best to them and they’re leaving out other things.”
One high school student, Paige Herer, told WBUR that much of the imagery presented on Facebook is actually a big ol lie. People often portray what they want others to see, rather than what’s really going on.
“There’s definitely people that all of their pictures from parties look like they’re having such a great time and you wish you were there,” Herer explained. “But then when you actually go to one of those parties everyone’s just sitting around and not doing anything except for taking these pictures.”
Social media can be good for your life, but always be aware of your emotions. Facebook and other platforms are designed to get you addicted so they can make money. But as you enjoy these platforms, do not allow them to disrupt your mental health. Stop comparing yourself to others, and if you can’t help the temptation, don’t look at the news feed and/or unfriend people you don’t like. Also, take a second and make a short list of five things in your life that money can’t buy. That way, you can count your blessings from the bottom up rather than the top down. You don’t have to have everything, you only have to have SOMETHING. Be happy with what you’ve got.
