For Men: 5 Proven Tips On How To Last Longer In Bed [EXPLICIT CONTENT]

You’ve finally gotten that beautiful girl you’d been dreaming about being with in bed. Her clothes are off; she’s wet, and she’s ready. You drop your jeans, lower yourself over her, and go in.

You begin to thrust – in and out, out and in. She feels great; and she moans – you know it feels good for her too.

Then, the unspeakable happens: you’d been hoping to give her an incredible performance…

But instead, your body doesn’t listen, and you ejaculate into her inside of minutes… maybe sometimes even seconds.

She’s obviously disappointed; you’re obviously humiliated. Why does this happen to you? Why can’t you just make it stop… and be like one of those stallion-like men in the movies who go for hours and hours?

You know she’s rethinking her decision to go to bed with you; even as she tells you it’s okay, it’s fine, not to worry about it, you know what she’s really thinking: He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who was going to have this problem… what a let down.

Why does early ejaculation happen – and what can you do to stop it, and how do you learn how to last longer in bed?

In 2007, around the time I started struggling with performance anxiety and being able to get turned on with new women I was taking to bed, I ran smack into another distressing sexual problem: suddenly, I began to prematurely ejaculate.

Previously, I’d had no difficulty lasting for 30, 40, or 50 minutes in a row. I didn’t even have to try to control my ejaculation… it simply took a long time for me to reach climax. I normally had to keep going long after I’d already made a girl orgasm herself into exhaustion, and now she was just lying there tired, experiencing small mini orgasm aftershocks, waiting for me to finish up.

But then, one day, something happened.

Suddenly, I found myself struggling to not cum too soon into sex.

I had no idea how to last longer in bed… it hadn’t been a problem I’d had to deal with before. The only things I’d paid attention to when reading about it in the past were “Think of a baseball game.” But I didn’t watch baseball all that much.

The problem got worse and worse – I’d be struggling not to cum in 15 minutes, then 10 minutes, then less. Sometimes I’d win the battle… sometimes not.

Finally, one day, I started having sex with a girl, and less than 2 minutes in, I lost control and came. All I could do stare at her sheepishly and say, “It’s never happened that fast for me before…”

Serotonin and Penis Sensitivity

I had a theory for a long time that penis sensitivity was related to premature ejaculation. The more sensitive you were, the bigger a problem this was for you, I suspected. I had friends who struggled with far more premature ejaculation than me report that the sensation was just so good that they sometimes came just trying to put the condom on.

It turns out this is indeed part of the problem… but the other part? It’s anticipation.

From “The Neurobiological Approach to Premature Ejaculation”, a meta-study reviewing literature on premature ejaculation published between 1887 and 2001, and published in The Journal of Urology:

“[P]sychopharmacological treatment studies, animal research data and stopwatch assessments in men with rapid (premature) ejaculation indicate that lifelong rapid ejaculation is a neurobiological phenomenon related to central serotonergic neurotransmission and likely influenced by hereditary factors.

…

Basic and clinical psychopharmacological studies suggest that premature ejaculation is a not a psychological disturbance but a neurobiological phenomenon.”

In other words,

• Premature ejaculation is not the result of a man having mental issues / being personality disordered (as had previously been thought – e.g., narcissists cum more quickly, etc.)
• Premature ejaculation is a result of serotonin (feel-good chemicals) released in the brain and their transmission

So it isn’t that you’re crazy… it’s that your brain is getting very excited.

And in case you were thinking, like I was thinking, that it’s all about penile sensitivity – well, we were right:

“Patients with primary premature ejaculation have penile hypersensitivity, which provides further implications for an organic basis of premature ejaculation.”

That’s from “Penile Sensitivity in Patients with Primary Premature Ejaculation”, published in the same Journal of Urology, 8 years before the meta-study.

So, we now have two smoking gun factors for why you may be struggling to last longer in bed:

• The sensitivity of your member
• The excitement in your brain

The Rush of Premature Ejaculation

I am an incessant analyzer of thoughts, and in the case of premature ejaculation, I took the same process I used to overcome depression and put the magnifying glass on what was happening in my brain when I came too quickly.

And I discovered several things:

1. First, the sensation was good. It felt good. I enjoyed it.
2. Next, I focused on the sensation. My mind started thinking about how good the sensation of sex felt.
3. Then, I started to think about the sensation of climax… which would feel even better.
4. Once thinking about cumming, I’d begin to feel a heightening of sensation – my body began to rush toward climax.
5. Sometimes I would try to tell myself, “Don’t cum too quickly!” but I noticed that even when I was telling myself this, I was still imagining ejaculation – and just trying to stop that future from happening. But I was imagining the sensation, and my brain and body were excited about it, and rushing headlong toward it anyway.

It became pretty clear what the problem was: thinking about ejaculation.

If you want to ejaculate, all you have to do is think about it, and imagine the sensation it will give you:

• This can be conscious
• It can be unconscious
• It can be while trying to tell yourself not to ejaculate – and thinking about and imagining ejaculation as you do

And when I talked to my friends who were cumming in condoms before they even got to sex, they reported the same thing – they were fearing cumming too early, telling themselves not to cum too early… and thinking about, anticipating, and mentally EXPERIENCING cumming too early.

It’s like being at the carnival trying to hit a moving target with a pop gun, telling yourself, “Don’t choke… don’t choke… don’t choke…” and all the while vividly imagining firing the gun and missing the target wide to the side.

What’s going to happen when you finally pull the trigger?

You’re going to choke.

And just like the nervous man obsessing over not missing with the pop gun at the carnival, when you’re reprimanding yourself not to cum early but nevertheless vividly imagining and internally experiencing a wonderful, satisfying release – you’re going to choke too.

Yes, organ sensitivity matters – and we’ll talk a little more about in what way below. The mind, however, is the most important part of all.

If you have any lingering doubts about how huge a role your mind is in orgasm, just take a look at wet dreams.

I’m sure you’ve had one – you have a really hot, steamy dream, and have some great sex with a girl in the dream… only to wake up and find yourself alone, soaked in your own ejaculate (or to wake up at the moment you begin ejaculating).

The funny thing about wet dreams is you’re not touching yourself – no one is. There’s no physical contact happening whatsoever… it’s completely in your mind.

The mind alone is enough to bring you to orgasm.

And if you can control it, not only can you achieve orgasm – but you can put it off, too.

How to Last Longer in Bed: 5 Pro Tips

Most of what you see scattered about the Internet for this are tips about squeezing the head of your penis (no fun) or using desensitizing condoms (also no fun). These things work (even my most premature friends have reported an end to premature ejaculation with thick enough condoms… though this usually also ends up leaving them with no ejaculation at all), but take a lot of the joy and enthusiasm out of sex, if you ask me.

I believe your goal with lasting longer in bed needs to be lasting longer without sacrificing the experience of the sex itself… for you or the girl you’re sleeping with.

So, that in mind, here are the 5 sex pro tips I used myself to vanquish premature ejaculation problems more or less forever, and not have to rely on a thick piece of latex or on giving myself an unfriendly squeeze – these are the ones you want to achieve the desired end result:

1. Beginner Level: Multiple Rounds. Most guys are fine the second or, worst case scenario, third round of sex in a row, even if they went fast in the first (or sometimes second) round. If you’re prepared for your own fast climaxing, you can be more nonchalant about it and just tell the girl, “It’s been a little while / few weeks since my last time, so I might go fast on the first round,” so her expectations have already been set. Or, if you weren’t anticipating it and it just happened, just tell her this afterward. Then, relax with her until you’re ready for sex again… and make up for it in Round 2 or Round 3.
2. Beginner Level: Baseball. The old baseball trick really does work – or, any sport of your choice (or anything else, for that matter – I used to use American football when I still needed this trick). The trick is really getting into it during sex – really taking yourself through a great game, going through all the plays, or even making up your own imaginary game. The sex won’t be quite as good for her as it will be if you’re fully present – but you’ll at least get your staying power back.
3. Intermediate Level: Stop and Relax. As you start getting closer to climax, simply stop thrusting… and just stay there inside her. I’ve seen advice telling you to pull out, but I’ve never found this necessary – if you simply stop thrusting, you can just stay on top of the girl and drop down to zero sensation in your penis. Don’t begin thrusting again until the feeling of excitement has completely subsided – otherwise, you’ll just pick up close to where you left off. Don’t worry if you only make it a few thrusts, then need a break – just keep doing this, and you’ll usually end up getting more staying power after a little while. And, even if you don’t – you can still use this to greatly lengthen the time the sex itself takes.
4. Intermediate Level: Insensitive Positions. If you’re still SO worried about lasting longer in bed that you’re going to ejaculate no matter what you do, this one won’t help much. But if you have that more or less under control and premature ejaculation is only something that happens when you feel more pleasure, get more excited, and start thinking obsessively about ejaculation, you can kill these thoughts by having sex in positions that aren’t especially stimulating for males – like woman on top sex, or any number of less-stimulating positions. You can even change positions from a more stimulating position to a less stimulating one when you feel yourself getting overly excited – you can stretch out the sex nearly indefinitely going back and forth between stimulating and not-so-stimulating.
5. Advanced Level: Total Immersion. The counterintuitive advanced counterpart to distracting yourself with some other engaging line of thought is, instead, completely immersing yourself in the present moment of the sex – the sensation, the girl, what she looks like, what she feels like. The reason this works is because you are NOT thinking about orgasm – orgasm happens in the future, and you are not thinking about the future. You are only thinking about right now. Essentially, if you’re thinking about cumming – you are not immersed. Instead, you’re imagining your desired future outcome (climax), rather than focusing on what’s going on right now (thrusting, touching, stroking, etc.). When totally immersed, you can have sex as long as you like and not cum – it’s only when you turn your mental focus back to the objective of ejaculation that you open yourself back up to climax again. This does take some training to do, however.

The goal, of course, is to get to total immersion – where you can just focus completely on the moment, right now, without a single thought about enjoying your future orgasm.

(via Girl Chase)