WELL, this is an awkward one.
A man who was born with two penises due to a rare medical condition has hopped onto Reddit for an “Ask Me Anything” session, with spectacularly candid results.
The super-thread has spawned about 15000 questions for the man, who has managed to answer many of them with wit, grace and more detail than we’re entirely comfortable with.
The man, known to us only as “DoubleDickDude”, has an extremely rare condition called Diphallia. Put simply, he has two fully functional penises. He urinates through both of them, and uses both during sex.
Incidentally, DoubleDickDude is bisexual and is currently in a committed relationship with both a man and a woman. He has “permission to stray only with James Franco”, which seems fair enough to us.
We’ve sifted through the thread and picked out a selection of questions and answers. You’re welcome.
There are also (NSFW) photos, but we’ll let you discover them for yourself. One step at a time.
1. What was it like growing up, and going through puberty? Did you know you were different, and how did that affect your psyche?
I guess pretty much like any other guy in puberty. Just had two d**ks instead of one. I knew from an early age. But it was not a big deal. My mum said “You just have one extra” and that was it. It wasn’t until I was older that it started to be a hassle.
2. How many people in your personal life know that you have two?
The ones who know either know because they are family, or because they are close friends. They don’t react much about it or bring it up. It’s not like it sprouted out of my pubes last month. It’s always been there so it’s like … not really a big deal.
3. Do they both hang to one side of your pants, or do they split the seam?
When I go commando, which is almost always except in winter, they take their own sides. The seam can be a pain sometimes because the skin between them is a little delicate and sensitive.
4. It does seem like it would be the ultimate pick-up line …
I’ve used it as one a few times. Years ago. But not any time recently. I usually try not to bring attention to them.
5. How has this affected your sex life?
Don’t know how to answer that. It’s been there all my life. It was there when I started having sex. So sex for me would be different than for a guy with one d**k … just like if I suddenly only had one d**k, it’d be different.
6. Do you have a favourite?
Yes. The right one. The left one has a grudge against me for it too.
7. Are there any medical complications?
My prostate gets inflamed if I don’t ejaculate enough. I’m probably the only guy with a legit reason to orgasm at least once every day or two days.
8. What’s it like having a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time? Any awkwardness between the three of you?
Actually no awkwardness. They were a couple before they mutually started dating me. She is straight, and he is bisexual and discovered he was after four months of them both knowing me, they found out about my c**ks. It clicked and we’ve been together since.
9. What kind of comments do you get from your guy friends?
My friends are so much like me that they don’t bring it up often. One or two wise guys will make comments like “She wants the D’s” as a joke when a girl smiles at me. But other than that they’re so chill about it because they know I don’t want the attention.
10. Are you a Ghostbusters fan? Have you ever crossed the streams?
HAHAHAHAHAHA. You can never cross the streams, it would be bad.
11. You’ve said that having two penises used to be a thing of shame, and now is a thing of pride. How did that happen, was there a certain event or experience that changed your mindset?
Honestly, it was the jerks I was around that made life hell. Once I was done with school, I realised it was something to be proud of … It’s one thing to be KNOWN as the guy with two c**ks and another thing to BE the guy with two c**ks. And being bisexual meant my d**ks were in constant demand. So it got to be kind of a curse for a while.
12. Did you have any nicknames in high school?
A buddy nicknamed me Double D.
13. Do you shower at the Y or wait until you get home?
I generally avoid public bathrooms and if I do use one I try to use the stall and not a wall urinal.
14. Have you ever successfully picked up a chick by telling her you have two d**ks?
In my teens, yeah. But half of them bailed when they realised I was serious.
