It doesn’t matter how charming he is. It doesn’t matter how sexy he is. Your health is still the number one priority. If you are prepared when he bats his eyelashes and runs his very sexy hand up your thigh, you will stay in control of both your safety and your pleasure. Here are the top five excuses men use to attempt to wiggle out of wearing a condom and the responses you need to stay safe.
Excuse #1: Birth control is the woman’s responsibility.
Sadly this is not a new argument. Ancient Egyptian, Greek and Roman cultures all thought the same thing, and that is why you won’t see many references to condoms in their ancient literature. In fact, the only references to “male birth control” you may find in their writings refer only to “coitus interruptus”—that’s the “pull-out” method, by the way —and anal sex. Puh-lease!
Why it’s bull: Okay, first of all ladies, we all do have some responsibility in keeping ourselves safe. We think it’s crap when a guy tells us it’s all our responsibility to make sure we have adequate birth control, and it’s equally crap for us to tell them it’s all their responsibility. The best case scenario is for all of us to do our part and make sure we have protection for ourselves. It takes two people to make a baby and (at least) two people to spread a STI or HIV. It’s neither all his responsibility nor all yours.
The lucky news: Accidents happen and people get forgetful. If you meet a stellar guy you cannot wait to jump in the sack with and you suddenly realize that you’ve fallen out of practice in taking your birth control, that can put a real damper in the works.
Likewise, if he usually uses a condom but has stopped because he finds them uncomfortable or experiences a lack of stimulation, he’s asking you to take a risk in going bare-back. Neither of these are ideal situations. It is that simple; you never have to worry about forgetting again.
Excuse #2: They don’t make condoms that fit me.
Oh yeah, we’ve all heard this one. Either the guy claims that he is so big that there are no condoms available to fit him or he worries that he is too small (usually he means too narrow) for a condom to stay on. What nearly every guy knows, but a lot of ladies don’t always realize, is that a lot of the difference in men’s sizes is in their girth, rather than their length, and that girth needs to be carefully considered when choosing a condom size.
Why it’s bull: There is a deluge of condoms on the market today, all in a variety of smells, tastes, materials, and yes, sizes. There are condoms that are as small as 1.25″ in diameter and ones as large as 2.3″ in diameter. You would be hard-pressed to find a sexually active man who didn’t fall in that range!
Excuse #3: Sex will feel better without a condom.
Now, perhaps, this is a genuine interest in you both feeling good, or it could be just a load of crap to get out of wearing a condom. Regardless, how do you think a case of syphilis or gonorrhea feels? How about dealing with herpes flare-ups for the rest of your life?
Why it’s bull: Condoms have come so far that in a lot of ways, sex can actually be enhanced when wearing a condom. Most importantly, you can feel safe knowing that you have greatly reduced your risk of catching an STI or getting pregnant when you aren’t ready to. Think of a condom as a sex accessory. A well-fitting condom can make him feel bigger (like when a shirt is tailored so the girls look like they’re a few sizes bigger than they are), and many now have shapes and textures that can give you quite the thrill and lubes that will increase sensation for both of you.
Excuse #4: Condoms smell and taste gross … and that’s a turn-off.
This is antiquated information and should be discarded as readily as, “You only need a nickel to make a call at the pay phone.”
Why it’s bull: That awful latex-y smell that reminds us all of the dentist’s office was a huge complaint for countless people for a long time. Do you think the condom industry just ignored your cries? Hardly! GLYDE, in particular, has developed lines of condoms that have great tastes and smells specifically to address that issue … and the results are amazing!
Excuse #5: Of course, I’ve been tested. You should just trust me.
Beware, this tops the list! And, sadly, is probably the most common “excuse” of them all. It puts you in a no-win situation.
