by LaShaun Williams
The male ego is a fragile one.
Like women, men need to know you care, that you are appreciative and that you love them. Just as daily compliments and sweet kisses make us feel feminine and pretty, there are similar things we can do for our men to help validate their masculinity. The things we say and do mean much more than they lend us to believe. Seldom do men admit to their specific emotional needs but, in many ways, they want the same things. Your man wants to feel loved; he wants to feel attractive; he wants to feel capable and needed.
Meetings those needs doesn’t take a lot of money or require rocket science. As with all relationships, ultimately, it is the small (but far from minor) things that count. Has your man been down in the dumps? Or are you looking to keep his spirits high? Here are a few tips for helping your man feel like the man he is:
1. Let him order for you.
Ask him to take you to one of his favorite restaurants and insist he order for you. Since it’s his spot, he will enjoy selecting something he’s certain you will like. And, if you don’t, send it back and let him try again.
2. Attend his company events.
If you and your guy work in different industries, this is the perfect chance to let him professionally flex his arm candy. Men are often proud of the women they love, so let him bask in showing you off.
3. Make his plate.
Waiting on your man lets him know he is special and you want to take care of him. Whether you are visiting in-laws, attending a cookout or eating Chinese takeout at home, make a plate for the booskie—at least every once in a while. He will feel like he’s doing his job and be inspired by your appreciation.
4. Put him in charge of the directions.
Men like to think they are good at following and remembering directions. When he insists on knowing how to get somewhere, say O.K. Better yet, put the ball in his court and suggest he take the responsibility. You know, because he’s so gifted.
5. Give him full reign in the bedroom.
Don’t speak just moan and give your man complete control. Let him flip you up, down, over, under—whatever he wants (within predetermined parameters, of course). Talk dirty, scream and groan so he can take credit for the bad girl moment. He will fall asleep feeling like a stallion. –
6. Teach him to drive while pleasured.
Men love oral sex, especially when it’s uninhibited and spontaneous. Unzip his pants while he’s driving and make that trip to church a little more exciting.
7. Give him a massage.
Ease him into the night after a long workday with a pre- or post-shower massage to help relieve tension. Verbalize how hard you know he works and how much you admire his ambition.
8. Thank him.
It doesn’t have to be for anything out of the ordinary. In fact, it will probably go farther if it isn’t. Focus on the small things like how he always opens doors or takes the initiative to make minor repairs around your condo. Let him know you are thankful to have a man who can care for you.
LaShaun Williams is a lifestyle and relationship columnist, blogger and social critic. Her work has been featured on popular urban sites, such as The Grio and AOL Black Voices. She has made appearances on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and Santita Jackson Show. Williams is also the founder of Politically Unapologetic, a blog where she unabashedly discusses culture, life and love. Follow @itsmelashaun on Twitter, Tumblr or Facebook. This article is culled from Madame Noire.
