by Emily West
The bar is set high in our visually stimulating, Snapchatting, Tinder-swiping world. And because of that, we women have developed a reputation for being overly picky and uncommitted when it comes to the men we chose to tango with. The dating struggle truly is real.
But ladies, its time for us to be real. How many of us have written off a guy because of some foible (he over-references Star Wars) or a bad habit (like leaving the toilet seat up), when we didn’t even get a chance to see hisquality? Little did you know that guy you dumped last week takes his grandma out for breakfast every Sunday, he tutors high-school geometry for free, and even does standup comedy on the weekends. But man, leaving the toilet seat up was a deal-breaker!
There are so many great men out there that have the qualities we really need, if only we can look past their quirks. From one imperfect and sometimes picky lady to another, these are qualities in a man you should really be looking for:
1. He is straightforward
He isn’t afraid to tell you “how it is”, and at first, this is a hard quality to come to terms with. We are so used to living in a passive-aggressive world where we shrug things off, or just say “It’s okay” and let the emotions fester. A straightforward and honest man wants to really know what’s wrong because he wants to help. Unfortunately with this comes “tough love”, because you are going to hear things that you really don’t want to here. But, in the long run its best to here it head on and deal with it.
2. He can laugh at himself
Life is tough, and it’s even tougher if you take it too seriously. That’s why it’s important to have a co-pilot who isn’t afraid to laugh at himself when things go to hell. Why? Because fit hits the shan more often than not, and would you rather be with Gordon Ramsay or Seth Rogen when you get in a fender bender on the way to your boyfriend’s promotion party?
3. He is generous with his time
It is a cliché, but we women like things—flowers, shoes, jewellery, chocolate. So when that Hallmark holiday rolls around we expect our man to give us these things and If he doesn’t deliver, he obviously doesn’t care about our relationship.
This couldn’t be further from the truth!
Men who give their time rather than money are rarities. A man who will give you his attention is more precious than that Coach bag you’ve been coveting. Contrary to popular culture, being frugal with your money is important, because if you are going to be with someone for the long haul, you want to know you will be financially set. A man who values time and memories over material things is priceless.
4. He is compassionate
One of the most powerful emotions is empathy, or the ability to comprehend and embrace someone else’s trials or jubilation. A man who can understand your sorrow but also take joy in your joy is beautiful. He always tries to put himself in other people’s shoes so he can see the world as it is, and do his best to move forth in a positive manner.
5. He learns from his mistakes
By default, we humans are all imperfect creatures and make more mistakes than we will ever admit. Given that, the best quality a man can possess is the ability to say “I was wrong” and to move forward to fix it. The greatest minds in the world and the most successful entrepreneurs have experienced failure and defeat, but instead of hiding from it, they openly embrace it. A good man will admit he is wrong, a great man will admit he is wrong and will become a better person because of it.
Emily West is a vagabond at heart and a historian and cartographer by trade. She currently makes a living by traveling to indie arts shows and selling handmade bridal accessories. You can see more of her work here.
