One of the objectives of the creators of the Brothers on Sports and Society Website is to give black men a voice. Far too often, the marginalized black male is left on the sidelines of important debates, even though we are the ones suffering the most. We are the ones dying in the street without anyone caring, we are the ones being sent to prison the most and also the ones who consistently confront depression-era unemployment rates.
These men deserve a chance to speak as well.
One area where that voice needs to be heard is in the arena of Father’s Rights. Society is hellbent on the image of black men as irresponsible, ignorant deadbeat dads, and this racist portrayal is one that fundamentally disrespects our humanity. Actually, there are millions of fathers who are great dads and some of whom are actually victimized by deadbeat mothers. In fact, I dare say that most relationships have two parties who contribute to their demise, not just one.
After seeing a debate that took place on my Facebook page, I received this email from Andre Hatchett, founder of BuyBlackNYC.com. Andre is not a bum. He’s not lazy or unintelligent. I met him at the New Paradigm forum in New York City that I hosted with Drs Cornel West, Christopher Emdin, Imani Perry, Marc Lamont Hill and others. Andre impressed me as a young entrepreneur who has saved his money, built a strong business, purchased real estate and is now pushing hard to promote black businesses. He’s the kind of man we can be proud of.
Andre honestly reveals a painful experience he had in a relationship a few years ago. I wanted to share this perspective so that others can hear from those brothers who are forced to only shed their tears in the dark due to a society that doesn’t care much about their pain.
His message is below. Please feel free to leave comments:
You’re one of the only people not afraid to talk about this topic. I dated a women when I was 25 years-old. She had a daughter, who I looked at like she was mine. We became pregnant; She said she didn’t want to go through with the pregnancy. I begged! Cried! For her to have OUR child. I even told her, give me OUR child. I will raise him.
I was deeply affected by her murdering our child. It was damn murder. I had no say in the matter. It killed part of me. I have never completely gotten over it. Its disgusting Doc. People are using abortion like damn birth- control.
I asked to raise my child. Give my child the chance to live. And she said no.
I said you can go. I will do it alone. She said no!
And to make matters worse. Her daughter that I was raising as ours, I was not allowed to see after we broke up. I lost two children that year. That’s why I ONLY date pro-lifers. And I no longer date women with children.
Her Dad was a not around. I took her on school trips. Plays. The movies. Went school shopping. And I realized, I had no right to that child either. I hurt like hell Doc.
This article is culled from BOSS.
