Before the days of Microgynon and Durex, people used to resort to all sorts of wild concoctions to stop themselves getting up the duff.
From faeces to body parts, see the weird contraceptives that will make you believe using a crisp packet really is a good idea (disclaimer: it’s not).
1. A lemon
You know what’s nice to shove into yourself to use as a diaphram? Half a lemon. Not only is does the shape look sort of similar, but citric acid is said to have contraceptive properties as it kills sperm.
Casanova was apparently a huge fan of the lemon method, and it was popular in the 18th century. In more recent times there’s even been suggestions that it could help stop the spread of HIV.
2. An acacia, date and honey tampon
Dating way back to Ancient Egypt, women were told to soak wool in acacia, date and honey and to insert it the way we would today as a tampon. This was uncovered by a prescription on a papyrus sheet dating back to 1550 B.C.
Sounds all very messy and sticky to us…
3. Acid
OK, so we’re not talking the stuff you used in science class, but women from both the Greek and Roman empires used to ‘wash’ their insides out with any acidic liquids they could lay their hands on, from vinegar and lemon to sea water.
Because, y’know, acid stings and cleans things, and what better way to make the most of that by douching.
4. Testicle tea
What’s nicer at around 3pm than a nice cup of testicle tea, eh?
Women in ancient China believed that drinking a cup of beaver testicle tea would work as a contraceptive, although we can’t seem to find a medical theory as to why…
5. Diet Coke
Rather than drinking a nice cold can of it after you’ve done the deed, it was popular (up until pretty recently) to shoot Diet Coke into your lady parts to kill off the sperm.
Other variations of Coke were also used, with the diet variety said to be the most effective. So, yep, that’s how your parents stopped you having anymore siblings
6. Pig intestines
Way back when before we discovered latex, men used to use pig intestines to do the same job. Anyone else dry heaving right now?
They were popular from at least the 16th century onwards and were often reusable and soaked in milk prior to use to kill any microbes.
7. Crocodile poo
This delightful contraceptive was favoured by the Egyptians – we’d love to know who first discovered that inserting poo into your vagina stopped you getting pregnant.
It was used to block the sperm, and it probably also gave people one heck of a bladder infection.
8. Squat and sneeze
It sounds like some sort of gym exercise, but instead it was used as a post-sex move to clear your body of fluids. Yuck.
Doctors in Ancient Greece suggested that woman get into the squat position as soon as they’d had sex and try to do the biggest sneeze possible to get semen out. Needlessly to say, this one wasn’t too successful…
And just so you know, we don’t recommend you try out any of these
