Most of us nurse hidden fetishes. A fetish is characterised as an obsession, not just something sexual that you are attracted towards.
Sex expert Dr. Rajan Bhosle says, “Sexual fetishes are nothing more than unconventional, yet harmless sexual practices. There are many, which border on the unhealthy. One should understand that having a fetish is not abnormal, everyone has fetishes, but it’s just that we nurture them within set limits. There are different degrees of fetishes that range from mild to extreme.” He further goes to explain that if, “one is attracted to blondes that’s one thing, but if you are unable to get aroused unless you’re with a blonde, then you likely have a fetish”.
Fetish can be particular from individual to individual. They fall under three categories – media, form and animate. In the first category, a fetish is developed for a particular material with which one is obsessed with such as rubber, leather, latex, and silk. But with form fetish, it’s the shape of the object that gives a high such as a woman’s stilettoes, knee-high boots or lingerie. On the other hand, body parts like feet, hair, buttocks or breast are called “animate” fetishes.
It’s important to understand that fetish preferences differ from individual to individual. “Generally it’s seen that a fetish is accompanied with certain feelings of guilt or shame. Try and seek other people who share the same sexual desires and practice it,” opines sex expert Dev Karan.
Some of the top fetishes that couples seem to posses:
Body piercing: Ask the younger lot and body piercing seems to be a top fetish amongst them. Interior designer Priya Gill says, “A pierced body turns me on. It can be anything from belly buttons to tongues and eyebrows. Everyone should have at least one body piercing in “that” place to create a feeling of arousal”. Dr Rajan Bhonsle puts in a word of caution saying, “One should be very careful as to where he has got the piercing done from. The area should be free from any kind of infection and kept clean. One should also try to sterilise the ornament they are wearing”.
Latex fetish: Men love material. The “bad” and “naughty” are always attractive. Model Rahul Mehra states, “My girlfriend’s wardrobe has loads of garments in latex and leather. It’s quite a turn on for me and gives me pleasure, making me more innovative in bed”. Watching a woman move around in anything tight and shiny is a tease in itself. Dr Shekhar Shah says, “The hygiene factor is very important. Sweat blisters must be avoided. Signature stockings are common with women. Latex gear also acts a catalyst. Fetishes are, most of the times related to some object or palpable thing”.
Fetish of having sex with a sex worker: The high from having adulterated sex with a sex worker gives a kick. Sayali Singh, a student openly admits “Though I am into a relationship, but last year for the first time I made out with a gigolo. It was extremely exciting as we tried out new sexual positions as compared to my staid boyfriend whose company I don’t enjoy much”. Sexologist Dr. Shekhar Shah highlights that, “while having sex with a prostitute, one should be clear that the person is free from sexually transmitted diseases or he has to pay much more for a fun of a few minutes.”
Voyeurism and display: Many couples confess to being turned on by pornography or watching another couple in the act. HR executive Raj Kaushal admits, “Watching a porn movie makes a lot of difference to my partner and me. Erotic scenes give us a high”. On the other hand there are couples who liked to be watched or even video tape their sessions to later enjoy viewing them. Dr. Rajan Bhonsle explains, “This is a common phenomenon as porn movies are meant to give both partners a sexual boost and inspiration”.
Fetish for body parts: Having a fetish for body parts is a sexual interest most people have. Be it your partner’s hand, feet or even nails – it’s a sexual high. Journalist Ishita Mehra says, “My boyfriend loves it when I run my long nails on his back and he says that it arouses him”. The largest global study of sexual kinks conducted by the University of Columbia reveals that the feet and shoes are by far the biggest turn-ons. Dr Rajan opines, “The body part when well displayed acts as a turn on. The feet and objects associated with the foot are the most common fetishes”.
Braids and ponytails: A woman’s hair has always been a fetish for men. Blondes, brunettes, red heads, long haired, short haired, thick hair or curly haired – men enjoy the feel of a woman’s hair. Raj Kaushal says that, “any girl who has a funky hairstyle or indulges in experimentation with her hair attracts me. I think it’s attractive and sexy”. Hair is used as prop most often in sexual sessions. Dr Dev says, “Men love to play with a woman’s hair and get naughty. Even a slight f difference in colour or texture excites them”.
Unusual outfits to enhance sex: All one needs is to get more creative as Richa Sahoo, a PR executive explains saying “one day I had dressed like a nurse and then my guy’s excitement knew no bounds. He was all charged up with passion”. Dr Rajan explains, “This is very common amongst couples who love to experiment with role play.”
Group sex: Some couples consciously choose to involve other people in their sex play. Software Consultant Richa Singh says, “When I heard first about group orgies I found it to be weird and kinky. But gradually I started living my fantasies; it was a sort of my secret desire which came true”. It’s only necessary to seek help if any harmful consequences are emanating from your sexual habits. Dr Dev says, “Whenever involved in group sex be sure that none of the partners have STD infections and proper hygiene is maintained. Also take care of the place where all of you have got together for the act and ensure it’s a safe spot”.
