If you want to take your relationship to the next level (meaning less talk and more play!), but don’t know how to break the ice sexually, there are a few things you can do to get your partner’s attention without being too obvious.
First, it’s helpful to understand that there are two types of intimacy when it comes to relationships, experiential intimacy and sexual intimacy, so you know exactly what you’re looking for at this stage of your relationship.
“Experiential intimacy is when a couple is actively involved in doing something they enjoy doing together — whether it’s dancing, hiking, cooking, painting or gardening,” says Dr. Ava Cadell, a world-renowned love guru, author and president of The American College of Sexologists International. “In these instances, they are interacting mentally, physically and emotionally.”
For some women, this is all it takes to maintain a fulfilling relationship early in the game. Other women, however, crave physical stimulation.
“Sexual intimacy is a slow burning passion that can include a variety of activities, such as caressing, kissing, massaging, oral pleasure or sexual positions while eye-gazing with one hand on each other’s heart,” explains Dr. Cadell, who also founded Loveology University, an online resource for sensual knowledge. “This is a synchronized energetic exchange that results in deeper intimacy with a heart and soul connection.”
So if you’re hoping to steam things up in the bedroom, but aren’t sure how to make that happen naturally, here are six tips that relationship coach and author of Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate L. Joan Allen came up with to help you initiate a passionate night.
1. Make fleeting physical contact with him. For example, brush his hair back away from his face.
2. Engage in flirtatious banter that leads the conversation in an intimate direction.
3. Make a bold request, like “Shut up and kiss me!”
4. Wear something that bares a little more skin than usual, such as a sexy, low-cut dress.
5. Serve foods and drinks that are known to be aphrodisiacs, such as oysters, chocolate and red wine. Then light a few candles to set the mood.
6. Give him a little gift that shows you’re into him. If you’re not sure what to buy, try giving him cologne and then tell him, “I can’t wait to find out what this smells like on you!” Or, you could buy him a tie. After he opens it, draw him close as you slowly tie it around his neck and then pull him in for a passionate kiss. Keep it to use in the bedroom later!
7. If you’re a woman who has trouble showing emotion, talk to your partner over a cup of coffee in a place where you can be alone. Tell him “I’m feeling close to you. Are you ready to take the relationship to the next level?,” suggests Allen. With any luck, his answer will be yes!
For more relationship advice, be sure to check out Dr. Cadell’s latest book,NeuroLoveology: The Power to Mindful Love and Sex. The book, which is endorsed by Dr. John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, is slated to be released on April 8.
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