Battling a breakup? We feel your pain. When you’re newly single, your head’s in a spin, you’ve hardly slept and you’re probably acting kind of irrationally. Before you do anything drastic, read this list of seven things you should never do after a breakup, and then avoid them like the plague:
Breakup blunder 1: Do not try to remain friends
Rarely can two people make a smooth transition from being lovers to friends, but if you’re going to give it a go, don’t try until the wounds have healed. Remaining friends straight after the breakup of your relationship doesn’t leave you enough time or space to properly get over it. Cut all ties straight away, at least until your wounds have healed.
Breakup blunder 2: Do not stalk them on Twitter or Facebook
As if we didn’t have enough to contend with during a breakup, we now live in an age where social media makes matters worse. Sitting around refreshing your ex partner’s Facebook profile is a serious breakup blunder though; if you’re feeling the need to take a sneaky look, it’s probably best to delete them off all social network websites altogether. You will only get upset if you see your other half has “liked” someone else’s photo or changed their relationship status. Why torture yourself?
Breakup blunder 3: Do not turn to alcohol
When we’re feeling down in the dumps, drowning our sorrows in drink can sometimes seem pretty appealing. Don’t do it though – mixing breakups and alcohol is like mixing milk with vodka; it will end in one curdled mess. The chances are, you’ll get drunk and then make one or more of the other mistakes in this list. Instead, keep yourself occupied by surrounding yourself with friends and family who you can vent your feelings to without any judgement or lost inhibitions.
Breakup blunder 4: Do not go on the hunt for someone else
“The best way to get over a person is to get under a new one” – myth. Got an ex boyfriend or girlfriend shaped hole in your heart? Don’t try to fill it. You need to wait for the wound to heal naturally, rather than try to patch it up. Using another person to help you get over your ex is not only selfish, it’s counterproductive. You need to deal with your emotions head on, but the rebound method only prolongs your pain as you never fully deal with your feelings. Sex with someone else is a serious no-no too. This will leave you feeling used and ashamed.
Breakup blunder 5: Do not believe you will always feel this way
Yes, you’ve demolished 10 packets of tissues and yes, you’ve burst into tears in front of your colleagues five times this week (and it’s only Monday morning), but don’t worry. It’s easy to feel as though you’ll never feel happiness again, but you will. Each day you will start to feel increasingly stronger until one day you realise that you no longer feel anything towards your ex.
Breakup blunder 6: Do not contact your ex for any reason
“I must remind him about his dentist appointment”, “I must tell her that my baby kitten just took its first steps”… No, no, no, no, no! In that tricky period straight after you’ve broken up, you may find yourself sitting around thinking of excuses to ring your ex, but it’s important not to give into this urge. If you’ve both decided that breaking up is the right decision, leave your wounds to heal and eventually the temptation to ring your ex will fade away.
Breakup blunder 7: Don’t let yourself go
Breakups are the perfect excuse to sit around looking scruffy and scoffing ice cream by the gallon, but too much of a good thing is never good for you. Make the most of not having to look well groomed and suck your stomach in every time you’re with your partner, but once you’ve scoffed that gallon of rocky road for the fourth day on the run, it might be time to start reigning yourself in. Getting dressed and stepping out into the fresh air will do you a world of good.
