Sex toys serve a pretty simple function in our lives, but of course accidents can happen.
Recently we heard of a woman who managed to crash her car while pleasuring herself with a rampant rabbit.
Now, we are not here to judge anyone, but it seems pretty obvious that sex toys (or everyday objects which people use as sex toys) can be dangerous if used with a little too much… imagination.
Just ask these folks…
Light bulbs should remain in light fittings
A young man in Croatia had a bright idea a few years ago, but rather than a light bulb appearing above his head, he found one and inserted it into his anus.
You won’t be surprised to hear that it shattered and caused severe internal bleeding, which nearly caused him to bleed to death.
Nipples and electricity do not mix
A couple’s sexual antics turned to tragedy when they decided to introduce at little bit of electricity to the bedroom.
Kirsten Taylor of Craley, Pennsylvania, and her husband Toby enjoyed putting electrified nipple clamps on each other during their intimate moments, however once while Toby was shocking Kirsten her body was unable to take it and she died.
DIY sex toys general don’t work out well, as this next woman also found out.
Dildos are fine the way the manufacturer intended them
One couple from Maryland decided their dildo just wasn’t up to scratch, so for some unknown reason they decided to fix it onto a saw to make the ‘pumps’ a little more rigorous.
Unsurprisingly the saw cut through the rubber of the dildo… while it was in use.
What followed was reportedly a lot of blood and a very panicked journey to the hospital.
Potatoes?
A priest was rushed to hospital in Sheffield back in 2008 with a potato up his bum.
He claimed he fell on it while hanging up some curtains (in the nude?), and required surgery to have it removed.
Whether you believe his alibi or not, we wouldn’t recommend recreating the scene.
Cement is not for orifices
An American doctor treated a 20-year-old man who, while getting frisky with his partner, decided to add some cement to the mix.
We’ll leave what happened next up to your imagination, but lets just say it involved a funnel, an orifice, and the cement hardening.
Easy to see why he thought a trip to the hospital was in order.
Hot dogs are not hot
An American emergency room nurse regaled the story of how she attended to a patient complaining of stomach pains.
The woman in question had used a frozen hot dog sausage to masturbate early, however in the process had thawed the sausage which had broken off inside her.
Only part way through the treatment did the two women realise they actually went to school together many years previously.
50 shade of grey effect
50 shades of grey did more harm than simply making you die of embarrassment when you found it in your mum’s kindle.
The London Fire Brigade reported a spike in couples becoming stuck or injured while indulging in bondage sex following the release of the film.
They eventually put out a release saying they were ‘concerned’ with the effect the film was having on people’s bedroom activities, and urged people to practice safe sex… in more ways than one.
