1. Slow the F*** Down
There is one phrase I find myself repeating again and again in the bedroom — and, no, it’s not dirty talk. Every time we get it on, I have to constantly remind him to slow the fuck down.
I’m not talking about politely working your way around the bases like a gentleman. I want you to score, I really do. But I just want you to take your time sliding into first, stealing second, rounding third, before driving it all the way home.
People always want what they can’t have — especially in bed. Your mission is to move slowly and build up her desire so much that she begs you to touch her. But don’t succumb too her moans too quickly — you’re in charge. Kiss her confidently, but keep your hands above the belt. Use gentle, hot breath to eventually lead your way to her breasts, back, and inner thighs. When you finally go down on her, she’ll be more likely to orgasm in much less time.
2. The Best Shower Sex
Nothing is hotter than the feeling of sliding your warm, wet body against your lover in a steamy shower. But just because you’re in the shower doesn’t mean you need to have shower sex. Too many bathroom sex sessions end in disappointment — or painful slip-and-falls. And to add insult to probable injury, you can’t use condoms under water.
So forget shower sex, and focus on shower foreplay.
First, throw a wet towel on the floor of the tub for traction. This will prevent you from sliding around and add some padding for your knees. Take advantage of the collection of soaps and shampoos lining the perimeter of the tub. Lather body wash across her chest and down her torso, gently stroking between her legs. Use the hand shower to clean off the suds, and drive her crazy. When she’s about to come, get on your knees — remember, you’ve got some cushion down there — and drive her to orgasm with your mouth.
If you can’t stop yourself from going all the way, press her against the tiles and take her from behind. If you need reduce friction, skip the urge to use conditioner and try a silicone-based lube.
3. All Tied Up
50 Shades of Grey was better when it was called 9 1/2 Weeks (Kim Basinger’s presence didn’t hurt)
Even before 50 Shades of Grey became the bedside book of choice, kink has always played a part in the bedroom. Many women enjoy the feeling of being taken, as it allows them to feel abandon themselves to a feeling of total ecstasy. According to Cosmo, 47% of women have experimented with bondage. So if you want to spice up your sex life, a little bit of bondage can go a long, long way. When you’re ready to begin exploring your dominant side, forget the handcuffs and leather and take it slow.
To get started, make sure you’ve talked about it and she’d expressed interest. Watching a porn together can help set expectations and create an environment for sharing your fantasies. When she’s ready, hold her wrists above her head during foreplay. Tease her gently in this position, and keep your hands off her neck — the idea is to get her comfortable in a submissive position, not scare her into calling 911.
If she’s comfortable with that light domination, ask her if you can tie her wrists. Don’t use abrasive rope — you don’t want to ruin the moment with a painful burn. Instead, enlist a soft scarf or tie that will hold a tight knot, and ask her for a safe word that she can use to immediately to be untied.
Mix it up by tying her to the headboard, or by using a blindfold to heighten your sensual power play. As long as you ensure she’s enjoying the domination as much as you are, you’ll be able to get as creative as the book on her nightstand.
4. What to Do The Morning After
You did it: somehow you managed to convince her to stay the night. But now the daylight is streaming in your window, her makeup is all over your pillow, and your hangover is starting to set in.
If she’s still sleeping, you’ve got bonus time. Straighten up a bit, brush your teeth, and — if she’s really passed out — take a shower. If you don’t know her well, rousing her with some household noise is a lot less awkward than the uncomfortable morning breath kiss, or the creepy back rub.
If she’s already awake in bed, you may be able to go for round two. Don’t kiss her mouth, your breath smells like a robot throwing up tuna fish. Now is the time to kiss her neck and pay attention to her breasts.
Don’t call last night magical. Unless you’ve fallen in love, which I guarantee you haven’t, there was nothing magical about getting drunk and boning. Don’t say thank you — it sounds pathetic to thank someone for sex. And please, whatever you do, don’t tell her to get out of bed because McDonald’s stops serving breakfast at 10:30 — those Egg McMuffins can wait.
5. How (and Where) to Finish
Fantasizing about finishing? While the guys in porn have it easy — it seems like they just come where they please — most women in the real world recoil at the idea. So how do you broach the subject without encroaching on her dignity?
First, wait for the right moment. This isn’t the type of act you want to introduce on your anniversary or her birthday. You’re more likely to encourage experimentation when you’re in the throes of passionate sex.
Once you’ve decided the time is right, ask permission. Seriously—do not proceed until you ask her if and where you can come on her. Warn her when you’re about to get to the next level. Facial expressions, grunts, and headboard smacking do not count as adequate warning. Make sure your aim (shoot for her chest, stomach, or legs) is true. Unless she gives you explicit permission, you are absolutely not allowed to come on her face, hair, or eyes.
When you’re finished finishing, clean her up! Don’t just throw a box of tissues at her, either. Bring her a towel, and offer her a hot bath.
If you’re smart, you’ll use this as an opportunity for round two in the shower.
6.How To Play With Breasts
You can claim you’re an ass man, but I’ve never met a man that didn’t kneel at the altar of the rack. As much as guys love groping, most of you are clueless when it comes turning us on by touching our tits.
First, tell her that her breasts look amazing. We all bring our insecurities with us to bed, so hedge your bets and compliment her assets.
Don’t immediately tear her bra off — classic rookie mistake. Like any great sex, the key is to tease her enough that she begs you to get to the next step. Kiss down her neck and slowly across the top of her chest, dragging your tongue slightly to enhance the feeling of your breath against her skin.
When the bra finally comes off, pay attention to how she reacts to your touch. Caress, kiss, and massage. Drag your teeth gently. Flick her nipple with your tongue, but don’t fix your mouth on her nipple for too long, as that can be irritating or worse, infantilizing. No two women are alike — and neither are our breasts.
And remember: no motorboating allowed.
(via Made Man)
