There are certain things in life which are considered by most to be better when they are bigger.
Wine measures, pizzas, Yorkie bars and penises, to name a few.
The good news is that, when it comes to willies, the size debate is a little more complicated than you’d think.
So before you fast track your appointment for penile enlargement surgery you might want to consider the following.
There’s not a lot in it
The average size of an adult erect penis in the UK is between 5.5 inches and 6.2 inches and between 4.7 inches and 5.12 inches in girth.
So as long as you’re not miles outside of the boundaries – or skinny dipping in the North Sea in mid-December – there’s not a lot in it.
You’re closer than you think
According to a recent survey, the most ‘desirable’ penis length for women is 6.5 inches, and while this is a little bit above average, it isn’t a lot.
Apparently, we also think that girth is more important than length, so if you’ve been gifted with a courgette rather than a cucumber you’re still in with a chance.
Just make sure it’s not a runner bean.
You give a s**t more than she does
It might come as relief to know that your girlfriend doesn’t harbour a secret passion for Ron Jeremy.
Eighty-five per cent of women claim to be satisfied with their partner’s penis size.
Meanwhile, only 55 per cent of men are happy with what they’re packing.
In short, you’re harder on yourself than we are.
Either that or we’re being kind and keep satisfied while you’re at work with a super-size vibrator and some extra strength batteries.
Best not to ask.
Proportion matters
Ultimately, it’s proportion which is important.
Not unlike boobs in that respect, when it comes to size, it is not whether they are just a handful or a stonking pair of double DD’s which matters, but that they ‘fit’ well on the body.
Being in shape with an average-sized cock will get you further with the ladies than being hung like a donkey but having a beer gut of epic proportions.
Get some motion in your ocean
If you’ve got a wee-willy-winkle, my advice would be this.
Keep fit, be groomed (no, shaving off all your pubic hair does NOT make your penis look bigger) and work damn hard on your technique.
While ‘it’s not the size of the ship it’s the motion of the ocean’ is clearly something made up by a guy with a small dick, there is truth in the theory that sex isn’t all about epic cock size.
Master your foreplay, endurance and rhythm and it’s unlikely she’ll even notice your willy is the same size as your big toe.
Either that or turn the heating off and blame the cold. Damn that boiler.
