Every woman is special and should be treated as such, especially from a man who truly loves her. In any relationship, the borderlines between his life, her life, and your life combined is thin, but that’s no excuse for eliminating good manners, sweet gestures, and meaningful actions in your love life.
Despite the stigma, chivalry isn’t dead. It’s alive and well if you decide to practice it, and it’ll mean the world to her that you did. Below is a list of 30 heartmelting gestures that will leave any man thinking more about ways to please her, and less time thinking about his embarrassing fantasy football loss last week.
1. Early in the relationship, or in pre-”mutually exclusive” stages, walk her to the car when the date is over (if she doesn’t stay the night). Who knows, it may even end in an unexpected goodnight kiss. (Bonus: text or call her to make sure she get’s home safely.)
2. Texting every 5 minutes can be exhausting, but a call is more personal, easier to communicate, and can be sexy if your charisma carries well over the phone. It’s also far more courageous to ask a woman on a date with your voice and raw emotion, instead of your well thought out words via text.
3. In the early stages of dating, avoid racial, homophobic, or any other slurs altogether. If this is a part of your personality that will surface later in the relationship when you’re “comfortable,” it might an opportune time to reflect on this poor choice in speech.
4. If you wear a casual ball cap, snapback, or fedora to a date or outing with your lover, remove the hat when you enter ANY room indoors. Sure, hat hair sucks, and rarely does someone look fly rocking it. Acting in this way, however, distinguishes you as a man of class and self confidence.
5. When attending a fancy restaurant and she wants to look glamorous for you, kindly offer to drop her off at the front door to save her ankles. Dudes: just look at those deathtraps known as high heels? Would you want to walk 6 blocks on wet concrete after it just rained?
6. It’s always good practice, and good karma if that’s your thing, to treat the waiter or waitress with respect. Let her order first, offer to pay at the end (don’t insist on it too strongly), and always remember to tip onto others as you’d like to be tipped.
7. After a meal is paid for, kindly excuse yourself from the table to go call a taxi or pull the car around up front. (Bonus: get her door.)
8. In a social party scene with a lot of people, make it a point to introduce her first and foremost to your friends, colleagues, or business associates. Not only should you be extremely proud of this feminine fox you have on your arm, but it will also make her feel like a perfectly cut diamond.
9. Hold the door for her especially, but also for strangers. Selfless generosity is an underutilized turn on that’s super simple and effortless.
10. Give uncommon, unique gifts spontaneously. Why wait for her birthday, Christmas, or Valentines day when the pressure is on? Gifts on these Hallmark holidays are expected, but the one’s that were strangely awesome and a complete surprise she’ll remember forever. (Bonus: hand make the gift.)
11. Speaking of birthdays, those are important. The significance of growing another year older, however, lessens with each passing celebration. This gives you dudes room for extreme creativity. Standard birthday partys are cool and large dinner reservations are touching, but I challenge all guys reading to think of something more. A surprise birthday party, a weekend getaway, or something of that nature. (Warning: know her likes before attempting. If she’s a social butterfly and you’d rather be alone, don’t surprise her with a 4 day backpacking trip that will remove her from friends, family, and cell reception on her special day.)
12. Speaking of which, the digital age has made us so lazy. The convenience of texting and instant messaging makes over protection a real problem. Want a non-creepy, anti-aggressive way to remind her of your love without texting 75 times a day when you live in the same 750 square feet? Write her a love note. It can be as elaborate as the 5 pagers you used to pass Janice Hawlstruck between 2nd and 3rdperiod in 6th grade, or as simple as a sticky note in her lunch box. (Bonus: pack her a lunch, leave a note on the bag itself.)
13. I want to use a whole number to drive home the point that if you text mushy, over the top lovey-dovey stuff every 5 minutes of the day when you’re separated, the “I love you’s” exchanged when you’re face to face will slowly become less and less meaningful. Don’t believe me? Try it.
14. Anything involving a puppy or kitten. (Bonus: both.)
15. Either late Friday night, or early Saturday morning, pack the car with camping essentials, wake her up, blindfold her, and tell her to leave her phone behind. (Bonus: have lunches/dinner packed with her favorite food items.) (Double Bonus: get a hotel unless you know for sure she’s into sleeping on the ground.)
16. Make casual, but intentional, flirty eye movements from across the room. In other words, this is pretty much the only scenario where winking isn’t grounds for a restraining order.
17. If I were forced to give precedence to one of these, it’d be this: empower her. Encourage her dreams, help her attack her fears head on, and rely on each other to grow stronger both as individuals and as a team. Ask her tough questions, and challenge her to be better every single day. I promise that this will result in mutual benefit and growth.
18. Take chances for her. Shake that booty even if you look like an idiot white boy. Cook even if you manage to burn water. Try crafts or draw a picture even though your kindergarden cousin can make a better construction paper collage than you. Your courage is sexy, and your willingness to try new things will go a long way with her. (Bonus: do things she already enjoys that are new to you.)
19. Respect the “Venn Diagram” of your relationship by offering up the house or apartment for the night so she can kick it and gossip with her girls. Why not use this as an opportunity to hit up an old friend from college, or go grab a long-waited beer with the guys?
20. Befriend her parents as much as possible, and show them your true self as frequently as you can. This is a difficult dynamic for some, but even if the relationship with her and her family, or you and her family is rocky, the fact that you’re trying to be the bigger guy will go a really long way in her eyes. (Bonus: once a relationship is established, offer to do something spontaneous and nice for her parents or family without her prior knowledge.)
21. Psychological test have proven that saying someone’s name casually in conversation is a surefire way to increase the bond between those people. In fact, Dale Carnegie brilliantly states, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Trust me gentlemen, she loves hearing it, too.
22. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, underestimate the power of tea or coffee in bed. (Bonus: utilize these three S’s: Saturdays, Sundays, and sick days.)
23. Keep the private “photo messages” you share between you two exclusively. It’s disrespectful to her and makes you look immature when you share this private information with your homies as a joke or to show off.
24. Make “deep belly laugh” a monthly priority at the least. I’m talking tears streaming down your face, stomach is sore from laughing so hard kind of laugh. Obviously you can’t plan these things, but put yourself in as many prime opportunities as you can to make it happen.
25. Surprise her by stopping one petty argument with a kiss. (Warning: one time use is encouraged. The cuteness rating of this moves plummets, sometimes disappearing completely, after the first time played.)
26. Focus on her eyes, even if your heart is racing and your palms are sweaty. (Bonus: minimal glances at her chest when you’re outside of the bedroom.)
27. Get creative with pet names and compliments, and do your best to not recycle them. Just like overly-lovely text messages, a name like “babe” or “beautiful” loses it’s luster after the hundredth time. Get creative, dudes. (Tip: when complimenting, be uber specific.)
28. When walking her home after a nice date (no matter the time of day) always walk on the outside of the sidewalk, or closer to passing traffic. This will shield her from any unfortunate event, such as a terrible driver or a semi-truck showering you in drainage water. (Bonus: if you have an umbrella, use it. Let her stay under the larger portion so she says dry.)
29. Offer her your coat. Nobody does that any more.
30. Stand up for her even if you both know she’s wrong. (Bonus: keep your cool when the situation get’s hectic.)
There you have it, gentlemen. 30 tips that take very little effort, but go a very long way with her. I’m curious to hear if I missed anything. Ladies? Gents?
Cartoons & breakfast burritos. Recently released my first book about a flying mustache that cures world hunger. Find it here.
