by Lisa Jacobson
What would I tell young wives who are just beginning the journey of a lifetime?
Now that we’ve been married for 21 years. We’ve laughed together, cried together, slept together, raised children together, and have walked together for over two decades.
That’s a lot of together – don’t ya think?
Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Two people who’ve been loving each other for a long time. And it’s no small thing. I can see that.
So here I am wondering what I could offer and the advice that I’d give. What has worked and what’s helped us through the hard times? What has brought us this far? And what will keep us loving each other in the years to come?
Since we’re celebrating our 21st anniversary – by the grace of God – here are 21 things I’d tell you…
1. Hold hands whenever you can. We do and always have. We’ll clasp hands when sitting next to each other on the couch, while we’re driving along in the car, and when we’re out walking. A simple connecting that goes a long way.
2. Pray for him every day. Faithfully. What better gift than to offer up a prayer for him? Ask God to bless him, protect him, and work in his life.
3. Look for the many ways to love on him. Small gifts and thoughtful gestures. Those little things that say, I love you and I’m thinking of you.
4. Make friends with people who’ll encourage your marriage. Surround yourself with those who will support and pray for you both as you grow together.
5. And avoid those who pull against you. If they were friends, I’d ditch them altogether. It’s harder with extended family members, but I’d dodge those as much as possible too.
6. Go to the Word of God for the best marriage counseling. You can get good advice from others, but there’s no replacing the loving, powerful Truth to be found in Scripture.
7. Cultivate your friendship. Marriage isn’t merely a business deal.
8. Never give up on each other. People go through difficult seasons and we get to persevere through them. Don’t let go.
9. Confess your sins to one another. Doesn’t help to smooth it over; instead repent and ask forgiveness. (Jas. 5:16)
10. And then forgive freely. (Col. 3:13)
11. Be patient with him. Love is long-suffering, remember? (I Cor. 13:4)
12. Show him respect. It’s in the Bible. And it’s what he needs (Col. 3:18).
13. Leave off with the complaining. It only drags the both of you down (Phil. 2:14).
14. Focus on those things which are true, pure, and lovely. (Phil. 4:8)
15. Put on love. Above all things. (Col. 3:14)
16. Let the little annoyances go. Is it really worth bothering about? Probably not.
17. Keep the home fires burning. Intimacy is still important. Yes, even after 21 years.
18. Stand by your man. You’ll probably find loyalty toward the top of his list.
19. Make loving him your priority. Over your job, your friends, your extended family. Even over your children.
20. Give him – and yourself – room to grow. I know that we’re not done growing yet and I’m guessing you two aren’t either.
21. Decide you’re going to stick together. With God’s help, you’re going to stay together throughout the years.
How did we celebrate our anniversary this year? Nothing too fancy, really. We began the day by having coffee together, like we’ve done most every morning for 21 years. Then we took off for a 3-mile hike down the canyon path near our home. Holding hands and talking all the while.
Walking together and loving each other. All these years.
And that’s something worth celebrating.
Don’t ya think?
Lisa Jacobson is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson, literary agent and writer, and together they enjoy raising 8 children. Please join her over at Club31Women, a blog for any wife, mother, or sister who is looking for Biblical encouragement and inspiration. Visit: Club31Women.com Find her on facebook: Club31Women Visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife Check out Lisa’s book, The Good Wife’s Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet
