You know when you have a genius idea, and then you do it, and then you kinda wish you hadn’t? Yeah, that.
When we heard that Channing Tatum had a name for his penis (it’s Gilbert btw. One of the top five least sexy names in the history of names), it got us thinking; how many other men have names for their willies? And what are they?
We simply had to know, and knew just the people to ask – Lovehoney (purveyors of the cheeky bedroom toys). 
We’re blaming you for this, Channing Tatum.
Mere hours later Lovehoney got back to us with answers from around 200 men (200 men who also happen to be Lovehoney customers, so possibly 200 slightly-more-risque-than-your-average-bloke men) – and the results are pretty enlightening.
First up, a staggering 60 per cent of respondents said they have a name for their penis. Yes, over half of men have take the time to name their privates. True story.
So, what have they called them?
WELL, the names are many and varied, and range from the dull (Edward, Terry, Gustav), to the weird (Rear Admiral Sir Donald Gosling) and finally, the quite frankly upsetting (Troy: Destroyer of Villages, The One-Eyed Python Love, The Gobstopper).
Then there was the poor sod who confessed: ‘My girlfriend calls mine Little Squirt…it’s not okay!’
Bad times.
20 of the most WTF penis names
* Troy, Destroyer of Villages
* Rear Admiral Sir Donald Gosling
* The One-Eyed Python Love
* Big Bear
* Little Roy
* Winky (when flaccid); Krull the Warrior King when erect, like in the film How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days.
* Stanley
* Edward
* Terry
* Wanger
* Donger
* Gustav
* The Gobstopper
* ‘My girlfriend calls mine Little Squirt…it’s not okay!’
* Bill Ding
* The Botherer (testicles nicknamed Lefticle and Righticle)
* Dinker
* Love Missile F1-11
* Atlas
Does your penis have a name? Then tell us all about it in the Lovehoney survey.
