Yes, they’re bad for you and full to the brim with sugars and other chemicals, but on a hot, clammy summer’s day, nothing hits the spot like a cold few gulps from your favourite carbonated beverage.
But we all have different tastes where our favourite fizzy drink is concerned; in fact even broaching this heavy debate in the Metro.co.uk office almost ended in all out warfare.
Whether you’re in the Coke camp, the Tango tribe or you somehow like Dr Pepper (really?) your opinion is valid.
Although not as valid as this official list which tells you once and for all which fizzy drink is the king of them all. No arguments.
18. Dr Pepper
What’s the worst that could happen? Well, apart from the sickly, medicine-like taste assaulting your palette, you mean? Nobody can describe what it tastes like and the reason for this is because it is an abomination of a soft drink.
It can’t be described because there aren’t enough foul adjectives in the world.
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17. Pepsi
Pepsi, mate. You will never be Coca-Cola. You taste like syrup and will never measure up, so please stop trying.
That time you ask for a Coke at the pub or restaurant and see a Pepsi pump scooshing out your drink is one of the most crushing imaginable.
16. Cherry Coke
Whoever decided that cherry cola was legitimately a thing needs a good shake. This combination does not work in any way or form – cherryade is bad enough, but ruining perfectly good Coca Cola by creating a hybrid of the flavours is nonsensical.
How anyone can drink this without twisting their face up is beyond me.
15. Fanta Fruit Twist
This was an exciting concept at first – a new flavour of a popular soft drink is always cause for curiosity. But strip away the novelty and what even is this? Recipe guys – you had one job. To make a tasty tropical drink. You only succeeded in half of it.
14. Tizer
Tizer claims to be made from real fruit juice – but did anyone ever pinpoint exactly what fruits were in it? That argument will seem pretty ironic when you see what I’ve ranked as number one but I just don’t trust Tizer. It never took off in the popularity stakes in the same way as other drinks and there’s a good reason for that.
13. Panda Pops
Yes, they taste pretty vile. But the school disco nostalgia and ‘out there’ flavours makes up for it. I wouldn’t drink one now; but I’d stare wistfully at a bottle and recall that awkward slow dance I was forced to do with a yucky girl.
12. Tango
You know when you’ve been Tango’d – mostly because it leaves a strange and unpleasant aftertaste in your mouth.
11. Shandy Bass
For when you wanted to play grown up and pretend you were drinking beer, these were great. Without that feeling of rebellion and coming of age, it’s basically fizzy dishwater. But it still tastes better than Dr Pepper any day.
10. Diet Coke
It’s Coke but without the taste. It’s not as healthy for you as the ‘Diet’ tag might suggest either. A big, fat ‘meh’ for this one.
9. Lilt
This is what Fanta Fruit Twist was trying, and failing, to be. It’s a tasty enough drink in summer but I’ve yet to hear anyone declare: ‘hmmm, I could really do with a can of Lilt!’
8. Orangina
You only ever drink this abroad don’t you? A holiday to Benidorm just wouldn’t be the same without bottomless Orangina refills. It’s never really sunny enough to enjoy here but if it were, it would be everyone’s warm day drink of choice, surely.
7. Sprite
Because only one Sprite is right. Horrible when it’s warm but the best lemonade (and lime) ever when chilled.
6. Fanta Icy Lemon
A Fanta spin-off that actually worked – take note Fruit Twist. Refreshing and tangy, this is a winner. If only it wasn’t so difficult to find…
5. Schloer
The wine version of Shandy Bass – except this actually tastes nice. Only for special occasions though obvs, or when Asda has them on 2 for £2. What a day that was.
4. Vimto
V-I-M-T-O!
It’s fruity, it’s fun and it’s purple. And it is the base ingredient of a Cheeky Vimto cocktail. What’s not to love?
3. Lucozade
Purely because it is the ultimate pick up – particularly post hangover. Although orange flavour is infinitely superior to original flavour, whatever that even is.
2. Coca Cola
We know it has more sugar in it that the Silver Spoon factory and yet nothing else quite hits the spot when you need it. The ultimate summer drink, mixer and thirst quencher, there can only be one beverage and one alone that can usurp Coke from its throne…
1. Irn Bru
The life blood of Scotland, this beautiful beverage is the king of all soft drinks without dispute. It cuts me deeply to know that some people down south have yet to sample its unique flavour.
People ask what it tastes like – the only answer is that it tastes like Irn Bru. It’s such a badass drink that it is impossible to convey its flavour into words. And it will chase away even the most severe hangover, which is the orange icing on the cake.
All hail the Bru!
