How can something so glittery and nice bring so much stress?
For some reason all of the adverts/YouTube videos make it seem like applying make up is the easiest and most simple task in the world. In reality this is far from the truth.
One does not simply apply make up flawlessly and skip out the front door to start their daily adventures. Oh no, it is much more complex than this. Whether you keep it natural, or go a bit glam your make up is guaranteed to cause a daily meltdowns.
1. The foundation quest
It’s meant to blend in nicely with your face to give you a shiny appearance.
Not only does it blend on to your face, but somehow you manage to get it over ever single other surface nearby. This includes your bathroom tiles, all black items of clothing and sometimes your pillow. Great.
2. Waterproof or not?
When it comes to mascara you have limited options. You can either get a non-waterproof one that will run down your face the moment you experience a light drizzle of rain, or you bravely opt for a waterproof one that is impossible to take off.
3. Eyeliner flicks
Roughly 75 per cent of your make up routine goes on trying to get perfect matching eyeliner flicks.
Typically you manage to do one amazing eye in seconds and then you spend a frustrating 15 minutes trying to get the other to match.
They never match, and you contemplate wearing an eye patch.
4. Mismatched brows
You kind of wished you hadn’t over plucked your brows growing up, because now you have to use various tools like angled brushes, dark eyeshadows and a ruler to pad them out a bit. It never works, and a result you either look really surprised or angry.
5. Wandering lippie
You follow all the rules, yet somehow it manages to escape from your lips to your teeth or chin. Great.
6. Eye gloop
Seriously, what is that mysterious guck that always gathers in the corner of your eye every time you pop a bit of eye make up on?
They can send man to the moon, but they can’t stop this from happening.
7. Blush levels
You never manage to achieve that perfect pinky sheen that you’re after. Instead it either looks like you have nothing on your cheeks, or that you’ve been punched really hard on both cheeks.
8. Endless brushes
You probably own more make up brushes than underwear, because apparently you need a brush for every single product. Even lip balm.
And yes, you know that you should wash them every week, but you’re simply too busy trying to get your eyeliner to match.
9. So expensive
It baffles you to think that one tiny tube of foundation costs as much as 13 Happy Meals, and every time you use it, you feel a little sad thinking of all the Hamburgers you could be eating instead.
10. Never goes to plan
Whenever you feel like changing your look you decide to follow a make up tutorial because it makes it look so easy to transform yourself into Kylie Jenner.
Fast forward 15 minutes and you look like an absolute mess. Sob.
11. Easily lost/ broken
You’ve lost track of the amount of times that your lipstick has disappeared, or your new blusher has smashed and gone over the contents of your bag. For how much it costs, it should really be much harder to lose.
Basically it needs to be at least handbag proof.
12. Contouring
Nope, still no idea how to perform this magical sorcery.
13. Fake eyelashes
Sure they look amazing, but getting them on is nothing but a nightmare. They take forever, usually end up wonky/lost, and basically poke into the corners of your eye so much that you may as well glue a cactus to your eyelid.
The only upside is the relief of taking them off.
14. Photos = what is going on
No matter how much you think you’ve perfected your look in the mirror, for some reason the camera on your phone may not see it that way. That beautiful blue eyeshadow makes you look cool and vintage in real life, but on your camera it looks like you’ve drawn on your face with a crayon.
15. Taking it off
As if application wasn’t bad, this is nothing compared to actually taking it all off. You’ll probably spend a small fortune on a variety of wipes and stuff to get it all off, but then still get it all over your new towel from M&S.
Sigh.
