Being betrayed by someone that you care about and who is supposed to care about you can be a huge shock. It can make you feel as though you can’t trust people anymore but eventually you’ll have to let yourself move on. Follow these 10 tips on how to bounce back from a serious betrayal:
- Don’t ignore the feelings of hurt. Let yourself grieve before recovering
While the point of this article is how to recover from betrayal, the first step to recovering from any misfortune you encounter is to let yourself grieve first. If you ignore the feelings of hurt, they won’t go away, they’ll just nest inside you long term, making you feel numb and bitter. Allow yourself to feel how you feel and get it out of your system.
- Sort out this problem by talking to a confidante
Even though you may feel as though you can never trust anybody again, it is important to have someone to listen to you, even if that person is a professional. Simply being able to talk about a problem can help you sort it out in your own head and make sense of it.
- Don’t blame yourself
While this can be a natural response to being wronged, it is important to remember that being betrayed does not make you stupid or worthless. Just think if you had been the one to betray someone else…would you consider it to be their fault or yours? The person who uses someone’s trust against them is always the one in the wrong.
- Decide whether you want to forgive the other person or cut them out
You can’t do neither of these things, you have to pick. If you decide not to cut the person out of your life, you can’t keep throwing the betrayal back in their face. Forgive. Forget. Move on.
- Try to love yourself
Even though you might feel a little worthless after a big betrayal, it’s more important than ever to show a bit of self-care. Treat yourself to something you find fun, pleasant and relaxing.
- Allow yourself to rest
Emotional trauma can be extremely draining on both the mind and body. After a big upset, it is important to give yourself some time to recuperate and rest. Sleep in a little longer and take it easy on yourself while you recover.
- Don’t let yourself obsess over it; don’t let it consume your entire life
While grieving and talking about your pain is important, you must set aside appropriate time to do so and avoid letting yourself think about it all day and not talk about anything else. If it’s consuming your entire life, you’re not going to be able to move on.
- Keep busy
This tip follows on from the last one, especially if you’re having trouble getting your mind off it. Make sure you have enough things to do to keep your mind occupied. Get on top of some cleaning or hobbies that you have neglected recently, so you’ll not only keep busy but you’ll feel good having accomplished some goals.
- Try not to play victim
Yes, in the case of betrayal you are an actual victim but the longer you milk it, the longer you’ll feel that way. Let yourself grieve about it but don’t drag it out for attention of the betrayer or of your confidante.
- Allow yourself to move on
One of the hardest parts of letting go is deciding not to be angry anymore. You might be holding on to some of those bitter feelings, because you think that moving on means you’re forgiving the other person or excusing their behaviour but that is not the case. Holding a grudge does nothing but make you feel bad for longer.
Do you have some other tips on how to recover from betrayal?
Stay happy!
