Here’s a sad reality of breaking up: Most of the time, it’s not until after the relationship has ended that we’re able to take stock of all the red flags we should have recognized earlier on.
Still, reviewing all the warning signs we should have heeded isn’t without merit after a split: the way we see it, reflecting on everything that was wrong with our last relationship is the best way to refine what we are — and categorically aren’t — looking for in a partner the next time around.
To that end, we asked HuffPost Divorce readers to weigh in with the one red flag they wish they hadn’t overlooked when they first got together with their exes.
From meddling in-laws, to texts from another woman, scroll down to see what they had to say, then head to the comments and share with us the one warning sign you wish you would have paid more attention to in your last relationship.
1. “He opened his mouth and told me everything I wanted to hear. It was just too good to be true.”
2. “I should have known it wasn’t going to last when my first thought at my wedding was: I know I’m going to get a divorce sooner or later.”
3. “He said our finances were none of my business. Apparently, neither was much else.”
4. “I should have realized it wouldn’t last when she cheated on me.”
5. “My red flag? He was constantly looking for attention from other women.”
6. “I should have known it would end when I told my husband of two months that I was pregnant with our first (and only) child and he was too involved watching his favorite TV show to have any reaction to the news (I even waited until a commercial break). When I got upset he yelled at me, saying, ‘You should have waited until my show was over! You know that’s my favorite show!'”
7. “I knew it wouldn’t last when I found 8,000 texts to number that wasn’t mine, all sent in one month.”
8, “I should have called it a day when we decided to have an open marriage. Great, in theory, not so great when you fall in love with someone else and realize your marriage is an empty facade.”
9. “I needed to leave when he lied to me the first time. There shouldn’t have been a second time.”
10. “I should of ran when his mother told us we couldn’t elope. In the end, she had far too much control over our lives during the 28 years we were together!”
