1. I got hurt before, so I will get hurt again
When you’ve been hurt once in a relationship, it can seriously taint your view of love, for life. When people fall in love, then they do make themselves more vulnerable, but don’t assume that every relationship will go the same as the last, because every single person and every single relationship are unique.
2. I know that person won’t be interested in someone like me
You can’t possibly know that for sure. You cannot know a person by just looking at them; you can only get a very vague idea of what they might be like. The only real way to find out if they might like you is to talk to them, so give it a go and you might get a pleasant surprise.
3. I’m not tall enough, smart enough, sporty enough, etc., etc., etc.!
There is no rule book that says a tall guy must date a tall girl, or that a college professor must date an academic. Have you not heard that opposites can sometimes be attracted to each other?
4. I’m ugly
This is another one of popular self-limiting beliefs. People come in all shapes and sizes, and very few actually fit the media definition of what makes an attractive person, both male and female. So, for one thing, there are plenty more than enough members of the opposite sex that will find you attractive and, for another, most of the people who think that they are ugly, are not at all.
5. All men are untrustworthy swines
You may well have had some unpleasant experiences I the past, but don’t tar all men with the same brush. If you have convinced yourself that this is true, then it will show on your face and in your body language, every time you meet a man. Just like women, men are not all the same and by far the majority of them are trustworthy and respectful and some are even perfect gentlemen!
6. I’m saving my feelings and my love for Mr Right
If you have taken the decision not to have physical intimacy before marriage, then that is admirable decision and it is to be respected. It doesn’t mean that you can’t date a guy though, and, if you don’t, how are you ever going to find Mr Right? Don’t let your decision put you off men altogether, there are plenty of men that will respect you for this and go on dates with you, without piling on the pressure for you to have physical intimacy before you are ready.
7. I don’t deserve a good man
Another one of popular self-limiting beliefs is when a woman thinks that she doesn’t deserve a good, trustworthy man. This could be a sign that you have dated some less than perfect guys in the past. Just because one guy turned out to be a jerk, that doesn’t mean that you have to settle for that. You need to do some work on your self-esteem and start setting your sights higher.
8. People will talk about me, if I date too many guys
There is a massive difference between a girl who dates a few different guys and one with a reputation. This type of belief is one that your great grandmother would have held and is not one that belongs in the twenty first century. There is no cut off point for the number of guys that you can date, it’s how you behave that counts.
9. Physical intimacy is sinful
Self-limiting beliefs about physical intimacy are very common, especially among women. If you believe this, then it is probably because you were brought up believing it. You have every right to decide where, when and with whom you have physical intimacy but don’t let that stop you from dating. Physical intimacy is a perfectly natural and healthy thing that occurs between two consenting adults and is nothing to be ashamed of.
10. If I wait long enough, the right person will come and find me
This type of attitude will definitely hold you back. You don’t need to walk around in low cut blouses and short skirts, with a flashing neon sign that says ‘available’, but you do have to make some effort. You, at least, need to get out and meet people and be open to talking to guys. How else are they going to know that you are looking for love?
Do you know some other common self-limiting beliefs that can ruin one’s love life?
Stay happy!
